Words of Purpose

"Take time to get away and nurture your relationship. Often we speak of women serving their husbands, but one important way men can do this is by serving their wives. Unfortunately in our society men who serve their wives are often called 'weak' or 'punks.' I know I've had guys tease me and call me weak. Meanwhile, my marriage is growing by leaps and bounds and they're not married anymore."
Actor Courtney B. Vance, husband of actress Angela Bassett, in their autobiography Friends: A Love Story

Angela Bassett's Beginnings


Below is an excerpt of her autobiography with her husband, actor Courtney B. Vance

What a glamorous life actress Angela Bassett seems to have, paved with red carpets, furnished with award statuettes, and graced with a handsome celebrity spouse. However, before the storybook marriage and the Oscar nod for her role as Tina Turner in What's Love Got To Do With It, she was a girl growing up in the South during the 1960s and 1970s on church hymns and The Jackson 5. Green-apple Jolly Ranchers and Lady Sings the Blues were among her favorite indulgences. Does any of this strike a chord with you? Then read the following excerpt of Bassett's new book with her husband Courtney B. Vance (co-written with NiaOnline's own Hilary Beard). Friends: A Love Story (Kimani Press, $24.95) tells the tale of how the two actors' lives intertwined to form one of Hollywood's most enduring romances. However, it starts with the story of Bassett's childhood. It's a tale that is at turns heartbreaking (she describes instances of molestation elsewhere in the book) and achingly familiar. Read on…

My mother may have struggled in school and early in her life, but she had an excellence about her and passed it on to us. Mama didn't want us to suffer her fate and she would tell us as much. She made sure we looked nice. She made sure we did well in school. She raised us up to love God. On Sundays we would walk together to Stewart Memorial CME Church where we attended Sunday school and service. I was part of the youth choir and had a great time singing. Ma was a deaconess. She sang in the adult choir. Her favorite song is "His Eye Is on the Sparrow," which she sang as a high soprano with her typical melodrama. I would be so embarrassed. One of my favorite memories is watching Papa [my grandfather] sing "Take Your Troubles to the Lord and Leave Them There" while he was standing in front of the altar of his church. He took this white handkerchief out of his pocket and threw it across his shoulder like it represented his burdens weighing down on him real heavily. When he finished the song--Take your burdens to the Lord and leave them there--he took the handkerchief off his shoulder, threw it over the altar with a flourish and turned on his heel and walked away lighter. I remember sitting there rapt. "Wow, Papa!" It was great acting and great theater. I come from a very dramatic family.

At home I played with my baby dolls and cut out patterns for them. I had lots of dolls. When I was a little girl I had White dolls--that's all there were. I remember little Black girls with White baby dolls. But after James Brown came out with "Say It Loud, I'm Black and I'm Proud," I remember Black dolls coming out on the market. Aunt Golden sent me and D'nette these two Black baby dolls--they were two or three feet tall. You could hold their hands and walk with them. I always thought the Black baby dolls were pretty; it was nice to see a baby doll that looked just like me. We'd comb their hair then my cousin cut their hair--then we needed new dolls. There were some Black girls who still wanted White dolls--that's what they were used to. Personally, I never had Barbie dolls because they didn't look like me.

We watched Julia, Bonanza, The Monkees and Tarzan on TV. Mom would have us sing and perform together Motown hits that were popular on the radio. The latest single would come out, "Papa Was a Rolling Stone" or "Say It Loud, I'm Black and I'm Proud," or "You Got Me Going in Circles," and she'd have us act it out. Then one of the ladies in the neighborhood who liked kids helped us form a little dance group. We'd make up dances and sing to songs like "Kung Fu Fighting" and perform them at the local Delta Sigma Theta mixer. I laugh when I think back on how much all this would aid me as a lip-syncher later in life. Mom would also take us to the movies. We saw Lady Sings the Blues, which my sister loved--after she saw it we had to learn all the Diana Ross songs. We also saw The Ten Commandments and Superfly. I was in love with the Jackson 5 and daydreamed I would marry one of them--probably whoever had the cutest, roundest Afro at the time. In my imagination we would have children and live in a real house.

This excerpt of Chapter 1 ("I Ain't Average") of Friends: A Love Story was provided courtesy of Kimani Press.